Politics

The latest world and national political nonsense direct to your brain!

Matt Hancock Socially Distances Himself From His Brain

Matt Hancock appeared on BBC Breakfast this morning to announce that he has decided to social distance himself from his own brain. Evidence of the decision was revealed when Hancock declared that two households within Greater Manchester – which is now designated as a high risk area – could not meet each other, but that […]

As Russia Report Pends, Press Remind Comrades that today is Jack Charlton’s Funeral

The long awaited, but almost certainly not very significant, Russia Report, which has been understandably collecting dust in a Westminster filing cabinet for two years on account of not being very interesting and really, altogether, rather a dull read, has finally been released. The report, which was heavily redacted by the Intelligence and Security Committee, […]

UK Press Say Feeling Bloated, Leaving Toilet Seat up and Aids all Corbyn’s Fault

The UK press today attempted to divert attention away from the government’s failed plan to plant a stooge on the Intelligence and Security Committee – thus preventing the dreaded ‘Russia Report’ from being released to the public – by blaming everything on Jeremy Corbyn. Corbyn was accused of being responsible for bad hair days, yapping […]