Priti Patel Launches ‘Face Smirks’ – Accused of Cashing in on Crisis

The Birtish Home Secretary, Priti Patel has launched her own range of coronavirus facemasks, labelled ‘Face Smirks’, prompting some critics to accuse her of cashing in on the crisis.

The masks, which show Priti’s trademark smirk, are being sold online at £250 per unit +P&P and are described as the ‘chic alternative to what the plebs are wearing’.

Aimed at up-market Tories who live in London, the masks are described as sub-par in terms of quality and are said to offer no more protection than other, cheaper masks on the market.

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Tabitha Smetherington-Smythe, a financial risks expert who works at Canary Wharf and bought one of the masks said, “My own mouth is incapable of twisting in such a deformed way so I can’t usually convey a decent sense of self-satisfied arrogance while bullying my staff. This mask makes it easy!”

According to distribution company, Patel Sundries, who make the masks there are precisely 6000 limited edition ‘Face Smirks’ available, a curious number which matches exactly the 6000 PPE masks which recently and mysteriously vanished from NHS stockpiles.

Matt Hancock, who paid a visit to the warehouse where the masks were stored shortly before they went missing, said, “the missing masks are not a huge issue as they represent a relatively small drop in the ocean. I’d not look too deeply into it.”

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