Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s father, Stanley, have teamed up to remind the British public that they should remember their sense of civic duty and responsibility as lock down eases.
Cummings and Johnson will use the slogan ‘you’re all in this together!’ to remind a British public who were largely freewheeling and reckless during the national lock down that now is the time to think about other people and to follow government guidelines to the letter.
Speaking from a gym in Durham where he has an exclusive ‘Dominic Cummings’ membership that entitles him to use the facilities even when the gym is in lock down, Cummings said, “the British proletariat scum need to show some common sense. They’re all in this together and need to realise that it’s not all them, them, them. There’s a bigger picture to consider.”
Stanley Johnson, who recently flew to Greece for a nice holiday despite government guidelines that say people should avoid all but the most essential travel, said, “you lot are in this together. By all means, go out and enjoy a pint or some heroin or whatever it is you do when you’re atrociously poor, but make sure you stay one plus metres away from each other and don’t act like the bunch of mindless gibbons you clearly are.”
Nigel Farage, who returned from the US last week after illegally entering that country to attend a Donald Trump rally, echoed the sensible warnings made by Cummings and Johnson.
Speaking from a pub on Saturday afternoon where he breached a twelve day quarantine in order to ‘get shit faced’, Farage said,
“The British public have been far too devil-may-care during this lock down. Many of them went to work when they shouldn’t have and the majority of those who did selfishly continue to go to jobs were working in hospitals and care homes, so there’s no wonder both those places have seen such a high number of infections and deaths.”
“Now that pubs are open again you lot need to be even more careful. You don’t want a second wave on your conscience. Luckily our Prime Minister has things in hand and his political adviser and his dad seem to have their heads screwed on. If only we could say the same about the people of this country. Especially the black ones.”