British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, was today awarded the official title of ‘prize numpty’ as his approval rating plunged 40 points from 35 to a paradoxical -5.
The news that fewer people approve of Boris than actually exist came as a blow to the British government who are currently doing their best to pretend they are still doing a ‘gurd jurb’.
The drop in ratings stems from Johnson’s decision to end lock-down early and his blisteringly bad handling of the Dominic Cummings debacle, which transcended the left/right paradigm, infuriating the public on both sides of the political spectrum.
More than 60 of Johnson’s own backbench Tory MPs have demanded the resignation of Cummings, one Scottish MP has resigned and today a senior doctor in the NHS quit his job in protest at the way the government dealt with ‘Cummingsgate’.
Johnson, who today retreated into his fridge to weather the storm, this week announced that he was proud of the way his government had handled the Coronavirus crisis, omitting to mention that the UK now has the highest death rate in Europe and is on a collision course for a second infection wave.
With the government’s track and trace operation in disarray, news media across the board banned from press briefings in case they ask difficult questions and the recent announcement from Matt Hancock that the new NHS Coronavirus app won’t be ready until at least September, few were left scratching their heads over the negative approval rating.
Political analyst, Joe Schneider, said, “Boris should have stuck to being the butt of the joke on Have I Got News For You. It was always going to go pear shaped for him, regardless of Covid-19. He’s an imbecile with no moral compass, no sense of duty and no idea how to run a tap never mind a country.”
“I’m afraid the good ship Bullshit, with Captain Boris at the helm, is going down with all hands on deck. Every man for himself. The rats will inevitably abandon the sinking ship and take the wheel of their own dubious vessel, but maybe some of them will be slightly more competent than the current barrel of snakes.”