#BleakLivesMatter Trends on Twitter

The hashtag #BleakLivesMatter has started trending on Twitter as people the world over take to social media to show their support for American emos and goths.

Members of the alternative lifestyle community, who shun conformity by all dressing in exactly the same style of clothes, caking their eyes in black eye-liner and copying each others’ hairstyles, were indifferent about the support with a spokesperson today saying, ‘like, whatever, man’.

The nihilist movement gained pace following the slight bruising of emo, Kaitlin ‘No Fate’ Blake (known to her friends as Winter Song) when she was jostled by an American cop as he chased a black man who refused to be beaten up through the streets of downtown Los Angeles.

Kaitlin Blake coping in her safe space today

Blake said, “it was, like, you know… intense,” as she recounted the abuse she suffered at the hands of the heartless cop. “I was, like, just hanging out when this, like, white supremacist fascist or something totally invaded my personal space and, like, disrespected my feelings.”

The global community took to Twitter today to voice their support and outrage for the unwarranted attack which was witnessed by a group of black youths who were being fired on by police at the time.


Leroy Givens, a 22 year old black American who was part of the group who saw the incident, said, “we were taking cover behind a Buick because the cops were laying down heavy rounds. My friend, Joel made eye contact with these cops by accident while we were heading to the store and they naturally opened fire.”

“While we were dodging bullets, we saw this other cop chasing a dude and the cop brushed past the emo kid. Not very hard and he yelled ‘sorry’ but she was obviously shaken.”

Karl Jenkins, a black American who was in the process of being strapped into a restraining gurney by a Swat team for a faulty tail light also saw the incident, which he described as ‘uncalled for’.

Karl Jenkins described what he saw while simultaneously giving a statement in cuffs and at gunpoint to cops who had pulled him over for ‘suspiciousnous’

Jenkins went on to say, “this is institutional abuse of white middle-class teenagers who are just trying to show the world how different they are by dressing and acting the same.”

“I’d take a knee for them, but the cops cracked both my kneecaps last week and I have a bullet in my spleen from a few months back when I accidentally drove my car past a cop, so I can no longer bend at the waist or digest solids.”

Friends of Blake held a ceremony in her honour today as the internet lit up with support for injustices meted out on the white sons and daughters of soccer moms by hateful and violent cops.

The ritual, which took place at a local cemetery, included shambling around, using a Ouija board and listening to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy.


But not everyone is behind the movement. Some sectors of society have criticised the Bleak Lives Matter hashtag and denounced the notion that cops are targeting emos.

Zedran Indrigo Bitterlake III, a transtrender who identifies as a pan-sexual FOMO feminist said in a Twitter message, “emos died out in the 2000s, man. There’s a whole new wave of post-modern loathing now and this fluke Blake isn’t even more than one gender, so she doesn’t count. Cops don’t care about them, they only target edgelords like me and mine.”

The face of an oppressed culture – Zedran Indrigo Bitterlake III, who claims to be male, female and a cobra simultaneously.

Bitterlake, who changed his/her name to Johz Cosmic during his/her statement, went on, “the new wave alt-lifestyle doomers don’t conform like those millenial pussies. We wear all black, use lots of black eye-liner and listen to soundclap rap instead of My Chemical Romance (though we still respect MCR).”

“As for playing with a Ouija board in a cemetary, WTF dude? I’d only play with a Ouija board at a cosplay orgy while tripping balls on a G-pack and right after I’d underscore the point with a high school shooting. That’s how we roll in 2020.”

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