Boris Johnson was prepared to rush himself into self-isolation today over fears that Business Secretary, Alok Sharma, might be going down with the dreaded Rona.
The announcement was met with confusion as the nation asked, ‘hasn’t Boris already had the Rona?’
A government insider explained that Johnson has always firmly believed in his own herd immunity policy and therefore believes he is now immune, but just to be on the safe side he planned to self-isolate in a fridge for twelve days if it turned out Sharma was infected.
After Sharma tested negative for the respiratory disease today Johnson returned his beers, and Pepperamis to the fridge in question then released a statement reminding the British public that he is ‘very brave’ and has a ‘strong constitution’.
However, Dominic Cummings, who has also had the virus and should, according to the government’s own ‘scientific’ belief in herd immunity be immune, was seen sprinting from the back door of Number 10, presumably running in the direction of Durham.