Boris Johnson Lands Role in Dukes of Hazard Movie After Impressive U-Turn

Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, bungling imbecile and fridge inspector, has landed the role of Boss Hogg in the next Dukes of Hazard movie after impressing film makers with his ability to perform a screeching U-turn while travelling at breakneck speed toward disaster.

The manoeuvre took place today after Johnson received a volley of criticism over plans to charge vital NHS workers for the privilege of risking their lives and serving the country.

Rob Gardener, a producer working on the Dukes of Hazard sequel, said, “I couldn’t believe my eyes. Boris is a quintessential Boss Hogg – the greedy, unethical commissioner of Hazzard County and stereotypical villainous glutton.”

“We won’t even need a stunt double and we can recycle the white suit from the first movie. It should be a perfect fit.”

The General Lee which has subsequently been banned from the House of Commons

The perilous high speed U-turn came after opposition MPs, including Keir Starmer, the leader of the Labour party, took Johnson to task over the government’s decision to push forward legislation which will double annual surcharges for migrant NHS workers.

The decision has now been reversed following a public outcry and a Tory back bench rebellion.

During Wednesday’s PMQ, Starmer crashed through the wall of Parliament in a Jeep Cherokee, leapt out of the driver seat, whipped his cowboy hat around his head and yelled, “yeehaw!” before firing a salvo of damaging questions at Johnson.

Advertisements

The Prime Minister jumped through the driver-side window of his 1969 Dodge Charger then proceeded to defy Parliamentary conventions by fleeing Starmer at top speed.

The British premier performed a number of dangerous handbrake turns before driving his vehicle on two wheels past the Speaker of the House.

Starmer gave chase and in the ensuing chaos Johnson caused a number of police cars to crash spectacularly into one another. He then executed a death defying U-turn so impressive that many witnesses claim it was almost painful to watch.

Johnson was reprimanded by the Speaker of the House for his hair raising antics

Matt Hancock – who movie producers have hinted may be asked to play the part of dimwitted sheriff, Rosco P Coltrane – fainted during the high speed exchange and required medical assistance. However, a number of MPs said there was another reason for Hancock’s sudden swoon.

Michael Gove, who witnessed the event said, “just as our heroic Prime Minister was throwing everything into reverse, Priti Patel walked into the House of Commons wearing a pair of denim ‘Daisy Dukes’.”

“It was too much for poor Hancock. He’s never seen a lady’s legs up close. He’s fine now though. His mum came to collect him and she’s going to make sure he gets plenty of rest with lots of Lucozade and some comics to read.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s