UK Government Ends Free Movement to ‘Open Britain Up to the World’

The UK Home Secretary and evil Bond supervillain, Priti Patel, has succeeded in her quest to oust migrant workers from UK hospitals and care homes by passing the first legislative part of her bill to repeal European freedom of movement laws.

Patel, who lives on a diet of babies and lists shooting puppies and shouting at people as her hobbies, said that her campaign to shut down Britain was a vital part of a greater plan to open Britain up to the world.

Patel, utterly oblivious to her own heritage while mindlessly destroying the civil rights of an unwitting nation

Critics responded by describing the phraseology as ‘Orwellian doublespeak’ and ‘evil, patronising and selfish’.

The Immigration and Social Security Co-ordination Bill was passed by MPs on Monday, receiving 351 favourable votes and 252 negative votes.

Ms Patel said of the bill, “it takes back control of our borders,” adding that NHS staff comprise the “very best of Britain.” Her praise for NHS staff comes in a week that saw the government double annual surcharges for migrant NHS workers and their families.

Shadow Home Secretary, Nick Thomas Symonds said “those who clapped (for carers) on Thursday were only too happy to vote through the Bill today.”


The bill will not only restrict the number of migrant workers able to work in the NHS and care industry within Britain but will also end freedom of movement for UK passport holders across the European continent.

Despite the considerable restriction on their ability to move where they want, when they want and how they want, Tory voters welcomed the passing of the bill which represents a major aspect of Tory promises on Brexit.

Political analyst, Dave Shedway, said, “this whole thing plays into the nationalistic fervour which saw Britain vote to leave the EU in 2016 and vote for an openly racist government in 2019.”


“Those who desperately want Brexit will welcome this attack on their civil liberties and, in fact, will welcome almost any imposition forced upon them in the name of bigotry and nationalism.”

“The country has truly lost its way, its sense of perspective and its ability to recognise the rise of fascism. It is, perhaps, unbearably ironic that the average Tory voter will invoke the essence of World War II, Dunkirk spirit and Britain as a powerful entity standing alone against a foreign foe while failing to see that the modern fascist sits firmly now in Westminster.”

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