Donkey and Dragon From Shrek Call For Pornhub to Remove Leaked Sex-Tape

Donkey and Dragon from Shrek are said to be upset and outraged by a leaked sex-tape posted by an anonymous user to Pornhub yesterday and have demanded the video be removed.

The video, which shows the fairy tale couple engaging in explicit sexual intercourse as they circumvent Darwinian laws to produce cross-species offspring known as Dongons, has been described as the most erotic and disgusting sex-tape of all time.

The couple have demanded the tape be removed

The video, which is accompanied by a 60s jazz musical score, reveals not only the intimate sexual activities of the pair but the methods used to ensure their copulation would result in children.

One Pornhub user who asked not to be named described the scene as, “a very troubling wank.”

“Dragon refers to Donkey as her ‘Grand Old Duke of York’ throughout, while Donkey calls Dragon his ‘Polly’ and keeps urging her to ‘put the kettle on’. I won’t even go into the scene with the ‘little piggy’ but when it goes to market it really goes to market.”

Donkey and Dragon join the ranks of previous celebrities whose sex-tapes are now freely available to the lotion-and-tissue masses, including Pamela Anderson in her video ‘Hickory Dickory Cock’, Paris Hilton in ‘The Queen of Tarts’ and Kim Kardashian and Jack Black in ‘Little Jack Horny’.

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Meanwhile, Shrek from the movies Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After, revealed he was annoyed that he didn’t think of it first, saying:

“Me and Fiona are, quite frankly, filthy. You wouldn’t believe the stuff we get up to. My schlong is so long you can see it from far far away and Fiona has a lovely big pair of hot cross buns.”

“After a good hard session in the swamp I can assure you Fiona lives happily ever after and can’t wait to climb back on my ‘tuffet’ as soon as possible.”

Princess Fiona denied these claims, however, saying, “Shrek is very vanilla and not a particularly attentive lover.”

“I usually know he’s finished when he farts and starts picking slugs out of his nose. That’s assuming I’m even aware he started in the first place. As for a ‘schlong so long you can see it from far far away’ there’s a reason all the other ogres call him ‘Wee Willie Winky'”.

The sex tape is available to view here. Viewer discretion is advised!

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