A nationwide manhunt is underway for Gary Chilcott, a 61 year old piano tuner from Ross-on-Wye who police say broke his mother’s back when he stepped on a crack in the pavement.
Chilcott, who has a history of carelessly stepping on the cracks between flagstones and tiles instead of placing his feet safely within the lines, is thought to be on the run somewhere in the Herefordshire area, though police warn he may have moved further afield.
Chilcott’s 88 year old mother, Eileen Chilcott, was yesterday admitted to hospital after stumbling in the garden and landing awkwardly on the family tortoise (Gerald).
The event coincided with reports from neighbours that her son Gary was ‘willfully’ stepping on cracks in the pavement outside their Ross-on-Wye home.
Gladys Forthright, a 94 year old visually impaired pensioner who lives next door to the Chilcotts said, “Gary was walking along the pavement like he didn’t have a care in the world, going to fetch groceries and medication for his mother.”
“I remember very clearly seeing him step on a crack because he was making way for a heavily pregnant woman who wanted to get past. The back four millimetres of his left heel was right over the crack. It was at that moment I heard poor Mrs Chilcott cry out and realised something dreadful had happened.”
Doctor Frank Harvort, who treated Mrs Chilcott on admission to Ross-on-Wye’s emergency room, said, “the fall caused a hairline fracture in one of Mrs Chilcott’s vertebrae.”
“She suffers from brittle bones, so the fall caused more damage than would have been the case in a normal healthy adult of her age. She is recovering well and asking after her son, Gary, whom, I believe, is her principle carer.”
Police condemned the actions of Gary Chilcott as ‘inhuman, callous’ and ‘sickening’, announcing they intend to use every resource at their disposal to bring the fugitive to justice.
Police Chief Constable Jimmy Hallmark of the Herefordshire Constabulary said, “I would urge Mr Chilcott to turn himself in before someone else gets hurt.”
The Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, took time out from his busy schedule of being on holiday and hiding in fridges today to make a press statement outside Downing Street, saying, “the actions of Gary Chilcott are a reminder to us all that this virus is unprecedented and that it is more imperative now, than ever, to stay alert and not to question the official guidance.”
Ross-on-Wye locals have called on the government to bring back capital punishment for stepping on cracks, putting new shoes on the table and seeing one magpie.
Joe Segway (87) who runs the Ross-on-Wye bowling club said, “stringing these people up by their testicles, sticking hot pins under their fingernails, putting their eyes out with a spoon and dismembering them with a rusty penknife before burning their remains and feeding their ashes to pigs is too good for them.”