Study Finds New Universal Constant: USB Plugs Never go in Right the First Time

A scientific study carried out by the National Institute of Physics (NIP) into the ‘spooky’ behaviour of USB leads has inadvertently revealed a new universal constant.

The study reports that, no matter where in the universe you are, a USB lead will never plug in the right way round first time, requiring you take it out, turn it over, and try again.

The study also found that USB leads left on their own will tie themselves into inextricable knots even if they remain untouched by human hands.

Felicity Fletcher, who ran the study, said, “we performed a variety of verifiable tests on a number of different USB leads and found that they behave in a way which contradicts the normal laws of physics.”

“When trying to charge a phone or other device, the USB will never go in the right way up the first time. This is true of computer dongles, headphones that run on USB ports or anything similar.”

The study also revealed that HDMI cables possess similar properties.

“We found HDMI cables were not so prone to ‘entanglement causality’ but they also never went into the fiddly little port the right way round first time.”

The findings suggest a hitherto unexpected and unstudied aspect of physics which seems to contradict fundamental scientific laws.

The groundbreaking paper is due to be published at the end of this week, though parts of the study will need to be rewritten as the dongle they were stored on went corrupt ‘for absolutely no fucking reason we can fathom’ according to the NIP.

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