Head of ‘Grammar Nazi’ Group Falls Down Stairs – Slips into Comma

Derek Payne, founder of The National Grammatical, an activist and self-styled ‘grammar Nazi’ group, today slipped into a comma after tripping and falling down too flights of stares.

Police say their not treating the insident as suspicious.

Those investigating the accident believe Payne (43), who’s online organisation corrects other people’s grammatical errors on social media, may have pressed a light switch with a faulty wire and was subsequently elocuted.

Derek Payne

The shock through him down the communal staircase of the apartment block where he lives.

Doctor Howard Nose, the clinician whom treated Payne upon admission to Lincolnshire’s John Coupland Hospital, said “Derek Payne is in a comma and so far its been touch and go. The light switch gave him a nasty burn as it’s wires were faulty.”

“When he fell down the stairs he split his infinitive in three different places and ruptured his semicolon causing him to lose control of his vowels. Were doing everything we can.”

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Payne’s group have been labelled grammar Nazis and ‘international errorists’ by the charity ‘Kindness Online’, while National Grammatical have, in turn, called the charity ‘anti-semantic’.

A spokesman for Kindness Online today said, “BRNSTN me n u haf Has R d1ffrens’s but u r a fiter. Stay away frum da lite hun. Dont go Wiv da angles bruv.”

Admins for National Grammatical today wished Payne and his family well but reminded their members that the ‘final solution’ must go ahead regardless. They went on to make cryptic remarks about the purchase of various decommissioned summer camps and the construction of a railway.

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