Elephants in Rooms a Global Problem – Conservationists Warn Not Enough People Talking About It

Conservationists are warning that the number of elephants wandering out of their natural habitat and into rooms is fast becoming a worldwide problem and too few people are mentioning it.

The warning comes as a new study found that nearly 500 African elephants disappeared from the Savannah last year only to be found loitering in rooms and not being talked about.

Conservationist Paul Jeffries, who has dedicated his professional career to studying African and Indian elephants said,

“it’s a huge problem and nobody will talk about it. Everyone just pretends these elephants aren’t there, standing in the middle of the room, taking up huge amounts of space and eating the furniture.”


“Elephants are not naturally equipped to digest sofas and dining room tables. They need to forage and they need to walk immense distances otherwise they become very depressed.”

Alan Calping, an English lecturer at Edinburgh University and a specialist in metaphors and similes, said, “I think this article is labouring the point and trying to stretch a one trick pony too far. In my opinion, the writer should stop flogging a dead horse and move on to pastures new.”

An elephant in the hand is worth two larks for summer

Jeffries, who recently completed a three year study on elephants in rooms, said, “we’re at a crossroads. This can no longer be brushed under the rug. We need to shine a light on the issue and pull our socks up.”

Calping responded, “Jeffries is simply shooting the messenger and throwing three sheets to the wind. What sort of person breaks a butterfly on a wheel when you can ride a bicycle down a hill?”

“Still, it’s given us food for thought and something to chew on. After all, we’re only standing on the shoulders of giants like turkeys voting for Christmas.”

Jeffries concluded, “it’s a slippery slope. You reap what you sow, make your own bed and sleep in it, weather the storm, cross the Rubicon, bounce a dead cat, feed the fatted calf and find light in a sea of darkness. At the end of the day you can take a fish to water but you can’t make it kick the bucket.”

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