The British government are allegedly working on a Covid-19 vaccine comprised of ‘good spirits’ and ‘strength of character’ after Prime Minister Boris Johnson proved that both are essential in overcoming the virus.
The news follows the latest government announcement about the state of the UK premier’s health after he was admitted to intensive care last week.
Michael Gove, Dominic Raab and even David Cameron indicated that the Prime Minister’s level of fitness, indomitable spirit and strength of character would get him through the worst.
The vaccine, which will not contain any chemicals or anti-viral agents of any kind and will be administered via ‘thoughts and prayers’ from a safe distance is said to be in the pre-production stage.
A Number 10 insider said, “it turns out all you need to defeat this virus is a bit of get up and go. Scientists and health experts have been telling us for months that none of these things make the slightest bit of difference, but (as we’ve said all along) what do they know? Boris is fit as a fiddle and will beat this thing with sheer willpower and personality.”
The rumour comes after Emily Maitlis, a BBC Newsnight presenter, was praised on social media for holding the government to task on its misleading use of language.
Maitlis opened the programme by saying, “You do not survive the illness through fortitude and strength of character, whatever the Prime Minister’s colleagues tell us and the disease is not a great leveller, the consequences of which everyone – rich or poor – suffers the same.”
One commenter said of the opening: “As great and as brief a comment on the truth of the pandemic as we’ve yet seen.”
Political scumbag, David Cameron, who many believe is accountable for the 2016 Brexit referendum disaster, said, “Boris will be in our prayers.”
The Supreme Ruler of the Universe was unavailable to say whether he might answer Cameron’s call for divine intervention and save the British Prime Minister’s life today, but is thought to be ‘mulling it over’.