The mystery graffiti artist, Banksy, whose often political wall art has become famous the world over has finally been unmasked as the alter ego of mild mannered newspaper reporter, Clark Kent.
Kent, a heavily muscled, chisel jawed bodybuilding nerd from Bristol, was unmasked when business owner, Ian Smith caught the artist spray-painting his latest creation onto the side of Smith’s property, a shop that sells vape oil.
“This mild mannered man was tagging the wall of my shop so I told him to fuck off or I’d call the police. He ran away at exceptional speed, but dropped his chunky marker in the process. When I picked up the pen I could clearly see ‘property of Banksy’ written on the side.”
Smith put an ad in the paper asking the owner of the lost pen to collect it from his shop. “In walks this big guy, claiming the pen belongs to him. He told me he was Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet, the very newspaper in which I put the small ad!”
Smith said Kent resembled the man he’d caught tagging his wall, “except he wore glasses, which made him virtually unrecognisable.”
Police yesterday arrested a man fitting Kent’s description in connection with property vandalism in the area, stating, “we take a very dim view of vandals, even those who command millions of pounds at auction or catch helicopters falling off the top of skyscrapers. We have a suspect in custody currently helping us with our enquiries.”
In an interesting twist to the unfolding story, Kent is thought to have since escaped police custody by ‘bending the bars’ of his cell using super human strength, or possibly some kind of crowbar.
Police are urging the public to be on the lookout either for a handsome man dressed in blue lycra and red underpants or a bumbling nerd in glasses and a suit.
