A leading study by the Institute for Rational Thought (IRT) has found that new 5G masts, designed to increase the range and effectiveness of mobile signals, really do make people more stupid than ever.
The news will be welcomed by conspiracy theorists who have been saying for months that 5G will have an adverse effect on the populations of those countries who choose to implement the technology.
The study found that the mere existence of 5G masts leads to already stupid people coming up with even stupider conspiracy theories about 5G masts than they already came up with before.
Dirk Jackson, a conspiracy theorist from Petersfield, said, “this just proves all along what I, and people like me, have been trying to tell all those pathetic sheeple who refuse to wake up to the truth.”
“There is no Coronavirus. The governments of the world have locked everyone inside while they switch on 5G because the powerful signals sent by these masts create flu-like symptoms and kill a certain percentage of the population.”
“See?” Professor Kent who headed the IRT study said as he listened to Dirk Jackson’s bizarre claims, “just the fact that 5G exists proves that 5G makes people stupid.”
“I mean, not because it sends out brain-frying gamma waves or whatever, just because it’s new and people fear what they don’t understand. We’re basically chimpanzees in pyjamas. I despair. I really do.”
Alex Jones, outspoken conspiracy theorist and proponent of the 5G gamma wave theory, said in his live talk show yesterday, “the sheeple need to wake up and find their sanity! 5G is an interdimensional gamma wave network set up by the reptilians to communicate with Nibiru.”
He added, following an ad break selling holistic medicines and machine guns, “You need powerful signals to reach Nibiru which is currently entering the solar system and causing climate change.”
David Icke, who once went on live television claiming to be the son of God, said during a livestream on Friday, “5G was invented by the masons as a way to control the minds of the population. When 5G finally goes live this week, people will turn into digital zombies, a bit like the ones off 21 Days Later not so much like the ones off Dawn of the Dead.”
“Smart technology will make them believe anything their government tells them, like we went to the moon, or the world is round. It’s already happening! Wake up sheeple!”
The study found that people, generally, were already pretty stupid, but things seemed to be getting worse since 5G.
The study based its findings on things like Brexit, the Conservative party election win in 2019 and the otherwise inexplicable fact that hundreds of thousands willingly tune in to watch Joe Wick.
“This 5G thing just tops it off,” Professor Kent said. “People are basically a bunch of idiots. They’ll use smart phones, made in China and operating through 5G masts, to post conspiracy theories that the Chinese are using 5G masts and smart phones to brainwash the masses. I think the fact these people think they have brains to wash may be the biggest irony.”