Skye ‘Mercedes’ Slater (19), a self styled ‘Instagram model’ from Southmead, Bristol stunned her 3000 Facebook followers yesterday when she announced, “al dun wiv dem haters. Gils postin pics of demselves all up in my shit wen dey aint got no man get yer own man bitchas”.
The revelation came after one of Skye’s friends said something about someone and things ‘kicked off’. As a result of the ensuing argument, Skye is said to have unfriended three ‘gils’ who ‘wont be sayin shit bout dis bitch cos dis bitch is just strait chillin.’
Skye, who firmly believes that the Coronavirus is caused by 5G cell towers and whose posts to Facebook have increased almost exponentially since she was forced to put her daily activities on hold and self-isolate, has almost 3000 Facebook friends and almost as many followers, most of them middle-aged Asian men.
Previous output includes a daily ‘selfie’ which invariably focuses either on the cleavage or the buttocks clad in a revealing vest or tight gym-shorts respectively. These are traditionally interspersed with pictures of Skye’s five children, Kieron, Jayden, Hermione, Ariana and Brittany or Minion memes which say things like ‘If I like you, you r special because I fucking hate everyone’.
One of the friends Skye reportedly unfriended was Chantelle ‘Chicca’ XoXFox (19) who said of the recently posted status, “gil got no play tho yeah so I aint sorry I told dat bitch da fuckin troof. She bin up wid dat shit but aint got no ho to back er up yeah. She fink she can unfrend me an all dat but she gon find owt wat dat shit mean wen dat shit kik bak. Karma bitch.”
The cause of the dispute is not known, but many who follow Skye’s profile hoping for a glimpse of near nudity have voiced their concern. Greg Smith, a 56 year old Brexit enthusiast from Derby who has never met Skye said, “she’s a good gal wiv nice tits. I wish er all da best.”
Meanwhile, Don Stapleton, a 48 year old plasterer who had no idea who Skye was until we pointed out one of her pictures said, “oh her. I only friended her because I might get to see a bikini pic one day. I think I sent her an unsolicited picture of my penis last month, but she didn’t respond.”
In the aftermath of the falling out Skye told our reporters that she ‘ain’t trippin’ and will be ‘livin me best lif as ushal”.