5 Worst Smells on the Internet

The internet was invented in the mid-90s as a way for scientists to share pictures of cats. Since then the global communication network has become quite popular and the content somewhat more varied.

With this in mind we’ve trawled the web for some of the less well-known and less-popular resources. So ignoring cats, porn and Facebook for a moment, lets look at five of the worst smells you’re ever likely to find online.

Advertisements

5 This One

It’s probably best not to take too close a sniff of this one, because it really is rancid. It smells like a mixture of putrefying crabs and skull jelly.

We found it on http://www.thedailymash.com, lurking in their sitemap. We believe this stench originates from bad editing.

The Daily Mash – skull jelly

4 This Eggy Thing

It’s a bit eggy this one. Something sulphuric about it for sure. We found it on news satire page http://www.newsthump.com where it was steaming away on a ‘funny’ article about Boris Johnson contracting the Coronavirus.

I mean, far be it for us to say, but that doesn’t sound very funny. The man could potentially be very ill, News Thump. Where’s your compassion?

News Thump – laughs at the prospect of someone else’s death

3 Christ, Pinch Your Nose Quick

This one is particularly noisome. It smells like death and Monday mornings if both were thrown into a bucket of oozing dogs and mixed with a rotting limb.

We found this especially loathesome smell on satirical news website The Onion, so you’d have thought it would smell of onions, but it doesn’t. It smells like dead tramps and gonorrhoea.

The Onion – oniony

2 This One Coagulates In Your Mouth

Starts off as a smell, turns into a solid if you keep your mouth open for too long.

This one is very very bad and makes us feel like our nostrils have been raped by Harvey Weinstein. We found it on satirical news page http://www.thepoke.co.uk, lodged in a crack between one listicle and another listicle, because everyone loves listicles.

The Poke – wasted their time

1 A Good Reason Not to Breathe Ever Again

This smell is so bad it makes us wish we were dead. It’s the odour equivalent of being force fed Ant & Dec while every orifice is filled with fire ants and poison dart frogs. We found it in Private Eye, and suspect it was uploaded directly from a festering pustule in Ian Hislop’s bottom.

Private Eye – Ian Hislop’s bottom

So there you have it, five really awful smells you might fancy seeking out yourself. If you do, we strongly recommend plenty of Personal Protective Equipment and a strong stomach!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s