Gordon Brown yesterday called upon world leaders to create a temporary form of global government to tackle the unfolding global economic crisis and the Coronavirus pandemic.
The one time Labour prime minister said the time had come for world leaders, health experts and the heads of international organisations to form a ‘taskforce’ with executive powers and the ability to coordinate an effective response.
“What’s needed now,” Brown said in a blanket press release, “is a new kind of order in the world. A new world order, if you like. One government with absolute control over everything.”
When asked who would lead the new planetary government, Brown suggested, “one of the Rockefellers, or maybe Rothschilds. I would also suggest conglomerating all organised religion into an over-arching faith. Something with a pyramid and an eye. Just off the top of my head.”
Brown, who is a fifteenth tier Mason and is known to make the cake and sandwiches at Bilderburg Group meetings, outlined his plan. “All the elders… um… I mean world leaders, health experts and heads of international organisations, will wear red robes and the rest of you will wear turquoise tabbards so there’s no confusion who is who. I’ll get Australia, obviously, but I don’t want that incorigible duffer Blair to get too much. He can have Svalbard I suppose.”
During the 2008 financial crisis, Brown persuaded other global leaders of the need to bail out the banks and then hosted a meeting of the G20 in London, which came up with a $1.1tn rescue package.
“The money subsequently sank into a black hole and was never seen again,” financial analyst Greg Street told the Daily Shunt. “But if you do a bit of digging you’ll see it didn’t even get near the banks or building societies it was meant to save. It went to an offshore construction company called “All-Seeing Eye Real Estate” and was used to build a massive underground super-bunker on an island in the Pacific.
When asked if he was currently making his suggestions for a one world government from the safety of this bunker, Brown said, “look, simply put, this is not something that can be dealt with in one country. There has to be a coordinated global response. The ancient lords of Sumer won’t arrive on their sky chariots for another three centuries so we need to at least consider some interim solutions.”