TV’s Ant & Dec Test Positive for Not Being Very Funny

Television personalities Ant & Dec today revealed that they have both tested positive for not being very funny.

Fans of the duo, who began their career on the teen soap opera Byker Grove, were shocked to learn that the I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here presenters were not as funny as everyone previously thought when Anthony McPartlin (45) Tweeted,

‘Ant and I have both been tested and the results are not good. We are both not very funny, but we are so far doing ok and trying to stay positive.’

Ant & Dec with their Madame Tussauds lookalikes, who are both much funnier

After thanking well wishers for their many supportive Tweets, Ant went on to say, “it helps to know you are all thinking of us during this difficult time. Our thoughts are with the thousands of other people up and down the country right now who are also not very funny.”

McPartlin, who was last year charged with drink-driving and banned from the road for 20 months, is said by friends and family to be ‘coping’ with the news.

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Following a very public struggle with prescription drugs and alcohol, McPartlin was on the road to recovery and had recently resumed his duties as a television presenter. Those close to Ant describe the latest news as ‘a blow’ but insist the two personalities will not let it stop them appearing on television.

I’m a Celebrity producer, Vic Hodges, said of the pair, “despite not being very funny at all, Ant & Dec have forged a career for themselves on TV. I think people find them adorable. Ant’s immense forehead and Dec’s dwarf-like stature are inherently funny, so they don’t really need to do much beyond show their faces to the camera. Neither of them are very bright, but they’re dumb in a cute way. Like babies are dumb. But cute. Everyone loves babies.”

Ant & Dec being ‘not very funny’ on the set of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

Henry Gladshaw, the private clinician who administered the test pointed out, “while the test proved conclusive, there is a spectrum. Ant & Dec are not very funny, but they are amusing. If you compare their results with, say, Dick & Dom, you’ll see they’re actually hilarious, relatively speaking.”

Other British comedy duos who have been given the test in the past with similar results include Cannon & Ball, Hale & Pace and Mitchell & Webb. “The Mitchell & Webb results were kind of misleading,” Gladshaw explained, “it turned out Mitchell is very funny indeed but Webb just has a strange voice. Once the two were isolated from one another Mitchell finally started to recover from not being very funny. We refer to this as parasitic comedy, when one person should be the straight man but doesn’t realise he should be.”

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Other comedian pairs who have taken the test but proved negative for not being very funny include French & Saunders, Fry & Laurie, Adrian Edmonson & Rik Mayall and Derek & Clive.

Gladshaw was quick to point out that, “all those duos are very funny indeed, but being very funny indeed isn’t necessarily the road to a successful career on TV. Crashing cars while drunk, lurking in the wings of talent shows and rigging television phone-ins are a much better way to make it big.”

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